On the Other Side of Fear

Do you have goals? Dreams? Aspirations? Are you achieving them? Or are you letting fear get in your way?

What is fear?… It is paralyzing. It is debilitating. It is darkness. It is vast. It is your heart racing. It is isolation. It is self-doubt. It is overpowering. It is unspeakable. It is the unknown…

It’s a scary thing: putting yourself out there. It’s scary to go against the grain. It’s scary to let yourself be vulnerable, to take some of your walls down and let people into your world. It’s probably out of your comfort zone to let people see your inner-most parts; maybe, pieces of yourself that you wouldn’t normally share. However, letting others in can also be quite freeing. Being transparent and open and letting people know you; see the real you. We don’t always have to put up our high walls with barbed wire. We don’t have to wear masks all the time.

Fear has been on my mind a lot the last couple of weeks, or so. Not in the sense that I have been afraid  of something, but more thinking about what fear does to a person. Fear can be so incredibly paralyzing. Fear makes you do things that you wouldn’t normally do (in good and bad ways). It can make you toss your dreams to the wayside. It can make you doubt yourself or even others. It can make you incredibly closed off from people you love, and even the rest of the world.

Being open and vulnerable with someone, or even the world, is no easy task. As humans, most of us seem to be programmed to be private, to hide, and to put up walls; let no one in – to a certain extent that is normal.

But…

Society has us conditioned to think that when we share ourselves and our thoughts – when we think outside “the box” – that others will laugh at us, think we are stupid, or tell us the notorious, “You CAN’T.” The list of why we are scared to share ourselves, with the world, or even just one person, is a million miles long! It is so important, especially now, to do things against social norms. If you have a dream don’t let anyone tell you it isn’t possible. Don’t let anyone plant seeds of doubt in your mind. Be strong in your dreams! And more importantly – yourself!

When someone tells you that you can’t, that your dreams are stupid, it’s pointless, useless, or a waste of time; use that to prove them wrong! If you have a dream that you want to see come true; use their negativity to your advantage. Use it to fuel your passion. Use it to fuel your drive. Use it to fuel your perseverance. Just use it!

Being afraid of something will you keep you from moving forward. Fear will keep you from reaching your goals. It will keep you right where you are – stuck in the mud. Fear will hold you back when you know you can accomplish great things. Fear will paralyze you.

I don’t know about you, but I am more afraid of being paralyzed and not reaching my goals than trying and being rejected or failing. In my mind, failing just means I have found one way, or multiple ways, not to reach my end goal. It allows me to find a new way – perhaps a better way! 

If you let fear dictate the choices you make, or what choices you don’t make, you are not doing yourself any favors – or others for that matter. Fear, inherently, makes you distance yourself from others. It makes you retreat. You have to take the fear head on. Fear is a barrier, but if you acknowledge it, let it wash over you, and decide to not let it hold you back then you will get past it.

Dare I say, you’ll be UNSTOPPABLE!

Easier said than done, I know!

When you finally decide that you are not going to let fear hold you back you will be a force to be reckoned with! And, what an amazing feeling to break free of what is holding you back?! To break free from the chains of fear! 

Don’t let mistakes deter you from following or running after what you want. Don’t live in the past. I know what it feels like to be stuck. To feel like there is no way out. To feel so paralyzed that you make impulsive decisions in an effort to get out of your situation. I know what it’s like to be called stupid, crazy, or be told that I can’t do something. I know it’s scary to move forward and look to the future. To look to the unknown. And I know that looking forward can be easier said than done. But, through perseverance I have learned that the future is so much brighter than the past. Don’t think about what could have been or what was – it has already happened and there is no sense in trying to change it or relive it.  Think about the “what will be!” Look toward the future!

That’s what my move to Colorado has been about! It’s been about facing my fears, facing the unknown, facing a life full of variables and just going with the flow. I moved here without a job and some people thought I was crazy! Some thought it was brave. I am not sure what it was, but I do know that I wouldn’t change my experience so far! I pushed past the fear. I didn’t let other people’s opinions hold me back. I made the choices based on what I want my life to look like; based on what I want for my future. I have spent a lot of time in a dark tunnel waiting for someone to turn on the light. But, you know what, I decided I was  going to turn the light on myself! I was tired of living the way I had always been living. Enough was enough! I turned my own light on. I have a vision for my future! I see the potential of where I can go and what I can do!

TURN YOUR LIGHT ON!!

Because when you finally break through the fear, doubt, and the paralyzing feelings; that’s when things become clear. That’s when things become real. That’s when you realize the strength you’ve had inside you the whole time! That’s when you show everyone they were wrong about you! That’s when you show them you CAN do it; and you WILL do it!

That’s when you start achieving your goals!

 


There was a video circulating a few months ago of Will Smith talking about fear and skydiving. If you haven’t seen it, I have attached it for your viewing pleasure. It is beyond inspirational and full of truth! Enjoy, friends!

fear-quotes-saying

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